' I love you . Always do . '

Sometimes , I am confused . It is like they say , ' you are a jantan kelepek ' because you sometimes want me and at other times , you push me away . Fickle minded ; I must say . &The worst thing is , you could tell me that you will forever be mine and that no matter what , nothing can tear us apart . So much for love , huh .

It seems to me that you prefer to bullshit rather than honesty and truth . Y'know , you are making your life complicated and contradicting . God made life easy for us to appreciate and understand . But it is us human that makes life hard . We tend to greed over anything and we tend to confuse ourself with what we want rather than what is best for us . All human beings will make a mistake by making life hard .

But y'know what ? I have my life back on track now . Though I may miss you , I won't even try to grief about it . Because thinking of you makes me hate you even more . Now , ain't that ironic ? Try to get the picture and inner meaning to it . You know I know .

No worries . I'll take care of your family . And I make sure that I give 'em the best love I have . Afterall , they are part of me ; My big family . They were the one who understand what I am going through and they were the one who were there when this shit happened . God bless 'em soul and protect 'em throughout their entire time . &I am always praying for them cause I love them .

It is the middle of November , and I can't wait for December . Moreover , I am pretty sure that you'll be the jerkass that I am usually having . It means that you will rub it in my face and ' try ' not to remember my birthday because you are happy celebrating with whoever your girlf. is . No worries : It ain't my loss at all . I'll make sure I enjoi ! my time celebrating . Making sure that I am the best bitch - ever ! You gotta admit that I am .

Well , enough said . I'm just too jetlack to be talking about it . I had a day , remember ? Ttyl .